Dear Hill Staffer Standing next to me while I sit and read my book on the metro:
Good sir, we only have these few moments to share together so I thought I would share the following concerns with you. First, please stop touching your penis. It is inappropriate. Second, no matter how many times you flash your ID badge at me, I will not be impressed. The only thing remarkable about you is, in spite of your insignificance as a minuscule cog in the government machine, you’ve managed to purchase Cole Haan loafers. Finally, I do not appreciate the fact that you have taken photos of me. However, I would be most appreciative if you would shove your blackberry up your ass.
Thank you for providing me with yet another reason to hate this city.
All Best,
Q